Celebrating 10 Years of Marriage Equality: Why Obergefell Still Matters for LGBTQ Individuals and Families
This June marks ten years since the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, which legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. It was a hard-fought, emotional victory for love, equality, and dignity—but the journey isn’t over.
Discrimination and hostility toward LGBTQ individuals persist across the country. Legal recognition is a critical step, but true equality requires constant vigilance, especially when fundamental rights remain under threat.
The path to marriage equality was long and painful. For decades, same-sex couples were denied the rights and protections many heterosexual couples took for granted. In 1996, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) blocked federal recognition and benefits for same-sex couples, even in states that allowed them.
But momentum slowly built. Massachusetts legalized same-sex marriage in 2004, and here in Washington State, voters approved Referendum 74 in 2012, making Washington one of the first states to pass marriage equality by popular vote.
Then, on June 26, 2015, the Supreme Court declared that same-sex couples have a fundamental right to marry under the Constitution. Justice Kennedy, writing for the majority, affirmed that “The Constitution grants them that right.”
For me—and many others—the decision was more than legal. It was personal.
My friend Ashley*, who I met in law school, had already married her wife, Cindy*, before I knew them—but their marriage wasn’t legally recognized. When the Supreme Court agreed to hear Obergefell, there was uncertainty and frustration, but also quiet hope.
Ashley remembers reading the decision during her 1L summer internship. As she put it, “I can't fully describe how it felt to have my relationship with my then unofficial, and now legal, wife recognized as equally deserving of protection by the highest (and previously most prestigious) court in our country.”
In true law school fashion, Cindy made the moment unforgettable. She surprised mine and Ashley’s entire Constitutional Law class with a singing telegram, re-asking Ashley to marry her—this time, with full legal recognition. It was funny, touching, and a reminder that this wasn’t just about paperwork. It was about finally being afforded the same rights, dignity, and security as any other family.
The following year, Ashley and Cindy were able to legally marry. As Ashley put it, “It was so wonderful to legally marry the love of my life the following year and so meaningful that my dear friend Ali stood with us in our wedding party.” I was beyond honored to stand beside them that day. It was more than a ceremony. It was a celebration of love, dignity, and finally being seen, not just by family and friends, but by the law itself.
But even now, progress is fragile. In my home state of Oklahoma, lawmakers have introduced a wave of anti-LGBTQ bills targeting everything from healthcare to classroom discussions. Nationally, the Southern Baptist Convention recently voted to urge lawmakers and courts to overturn Obergefell, echoing the playbook that led to the reversal of Roe v. Wade.
These actions send a harmful message: that LGBTQ people still don’t belong and that their love and families remain under threat.
Marriage provides essential legal protections, including spousal inheritance rights, decision-making authority in medical emergencies, and access to survivor benefits. It offers a layer of security that unmarried couples still have to work hard to replicate through legal documents. But even with marriage equality, estate planning remains essential. Having a will, power of attorney, healthcare directive, and, when appropriate, a trust ensures your wishes are carried out, minimizes potential conflicts, and provides peace of mind, especially for families who may still face bias or strained family relationships.
At Sheets Law, we proudly serve LGBTQ individuals and families with inclusive, affirming legal services. Whether you’re married, engaged, or building your life together, thoughtful estate planning gives you peace of mind—and ensures your love and family are protected, no matter what.
Let’s celebrate 10 years of marriage equality—and keep working toward true equality for all.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy.